Dear Jesus

Merry Christmas sweet baby girl. I know you won't see this today but someday when you do read this you'll know I was thinking of you. I hope you know you are loved beyond measure and held very dear to my heart. This is the 3rd Christmas we will spend apart since we started the adoption process. Dear Jesus, please make it the last. Love you sweet darling! Missing you today more than you know.

Love forever and always,
Mommy

Merry Christmas!!!

Daddy's Trip

pretty girl:)

silly!!!

Esther & Sophiana:)

sweet baby

Daddy took Esther and Sophiana to a restaurant. They had pizza, french fries and coke! What a treat:) It was even air conditioned... but the girls froze since they are not used to that. Imagine when they get to Maine!
Overall, it was a good trip! Esther wanted Daddy to hold her lots which was nice. She was sick for some of the time but feeling a bit better by the end of the trip. Sophiana spent most of the time with them as well. She made sure Esther towed the line:)

Esther Florial Short

It's official... we have legally adopted Esther in Haiti. Praise the Lord! Her name is now Esther Florial Short:) We have to wait for her passport and visa to be issued so we can legally bring her into the US. The process will still take several months but we are headed in the right direction and for that we are thankful!

Happy 3rd Birthday!

Happy 3rd Birthday sweet baby girl! What a blessing it is to share such a special day with someone as precious as you. I am praying this is the last birthday that we will spend apart. Next year I hope to have one whopping party, not only to celebrate our birthdays, but to celebrate the fact that we're together! Love you to the moon and back!

Love,
Mommy xoxo

Incredibly Blessed

We received wonderful news this week - a COURT DATE!!!! Dana will be traveling to Haiti to attend court on December 6th. We have been praying and hoping for this news for a long time! Feeling incredibly blessed today:)

Daddy hasn't seen Esther since March of 2011. He will be amazed for she has grown so much! Praying for a trip filled with hugs and kisses:)

"Someday"

Earlier this week Gavin asked "Is Esther coming home for Halloween, Mommy? Later on he decided to give it another try. Thanksgiving? And yet another. Christmas? Someday baby, someday. Today marks 2 years since we began our adoption journey. 2 years of hoping that "someday" would come. We're still hoping...

Heavy Hearts

Our hearts are a little heavy tonight. Last night we received confirmation that Esther's name was in fact printed in the Le Moniteur as we had discovered in September. Yet, her name was printed incorrectly. Due to this misprint we now have to get it fixed and reprinted all over again. This is likely what has caused and is currently causing this lengthy delay. We are frustrated and saddened to hear of this mistake that will add months onto our adoption process. But there isn't anything we can do about it so we continue to trust that God is in control. We know that He holds our sweet little girl in the palm of His hand. We love her to the moon and back.... but He loves her more!

Now and Then

Today is one of those days. Filled with mixed emotions. A day when I feel great joy in my heart as I watch my little boy laugh and play with his Daddy. At the same time I also experience deep heartache as I long for the day that my little girl's giggles are heard in the midst of the Sunday afternoon play.

We started our adoption journey 23 months ago. Most of the time it feels like an eternity has passed. Gavin was 16 months old, Esther 11 months. Gavin is now 3. Esther will turn 3 in December. It seems unreal that so much time has passed and yet we are still unable to experience life together as a family. I don't understand why it has to be this way. It certainly seems like there must be a better solution. I've played it out over and over again in my head trying to make sense of it all. But in the end I always offer it all to Jesus.... all the while praying that He will bring our little girl home to us in His perfect timing even if that means we must continue to wait.

 As I look at the "now and then" pictures above it makes me smile and tear up all at the same time. I love these two precious children more than words can say. I long for the day when I will tuck them both into bed, kiss them goodnight and listen to those two lil thumbs sucking away as they fall fast asleep, together, under one roof. Praying God hears my heart's desire tonight!

Nothing Less Than A Miracle!

Our family has been blessed with some wonderful news.... my sister Sophiana received a number today! This means that she is officially in the system and that her case has started to be processed. This is nothing less than a miralce! It's too complicated to explain but believe me when I say that God worked a miracle. I am simply in awe of what He has accomplished in the past few weeks.... simply in awe!

On another note, we have been waiting quite some time for Esther's name to be printed in the Le Moniteur (Haitan newspaper) so that we can be assigned a court date. I finally was able to locate some information online about the printing and discovered that Esther's name had been printed back in May. So we have no idea what is going on at this point. We're hoping to find out some more information next week because at this point we are extremely confused!

Moving Forward!!!

Right before leaving Haiti on Monday I learned that President Martelly FINALLY signed our dossier!!! We have received presidential dispensation after a LONG 12 month wait in IBESR. We are now waiting for it to be printed in the paper and hopefully we will then be scheduled for court. Hopefully sooner than later!!! Either way we are finally moving forward and for this we praise the Lord!

Sophiana

During my recent trip to Haiti I had the priviledge of meeting my lil sister, Sophiana. She was a sweet bundle of energy! I believe my parents will have to be on their toes when she comes home:) I'm very excited to have her be a part of our family!

A Place of Hope

Just got back from visiting Esther. It felt so wonderful to hold her in my arms again. So comforting to see her smile. I was gently reminded of how faithful our God is. He has carried Esther from a place of darkness into a place of hope. I desire with all of my heart for Esther to be here with us but it gives me great peace to see her experience joy in the midst of heartache. I can still hear her giggle when I close my eyes... a precious sound indeed.

Esther got to meet Papa during this trip. He also got a refresher course on playing dress up:)

Esther was sick with a virus much of the time I was there. It was incredibly humid and she was running a fever for at least 48 hours. Not so fun although I am thankful I was there to care for her. She was feeling good on the day of our trip to the resort. It was lots of fun even though she wanted nothing to do with the water. I think it was a nice break for her to get away from her normal routine. I wouldn't suggest taking a 2 hour trip through Haiti though.... I think I saw my life flash before my eyes more than once!

Esther chillin in the pool with Mimi & Papa:)

Yellow is Esther's color... it looks simply beautiful on her! Even when she's making crazy faces:)

                                                                 Pretty in Pink!

This is Esther's new caretaker.... it was nice to see her smiling most everytime I saw her:)

It was simply craziness trying to get the photo below. These are the 8 children that are being adopted by families in our home church, Lakeside Community. Praying them home!!!

                           Can't wait for these 2 to be hanging out together in Maine!!!

It was extremely hard to leave Esther this time. One would think it would become easier over time but in fact it only gets worse. This was the first time she understood that I was leaving before I left. I packed her things up and put them in one pile and put mine in another. She carried her things over and put them on top of mine. It was her way of telling me that she wanted to go with me:( Heartbreaking! The screaming and clawing that happened as I handed her to a caretaker was almost too much to bear. I long for the day when I leave Haiti with her in my arms. Praying that day comes soon!

Countdown...

9 more days sweet baby girl... Mommy is coming!!!

Sweet Sophiana

I have some exciting news to share... I'm going to be a big sister again!!! My parents are now in the process of adopting sweet Sophiana, a 6 year old little girl, from Kingdom of Kid's Orphanage in Haiti. (where Esther lives) What a blessing to now have 3 Haitian kiddos in our family:)

Sophiana Raye

Jean Marie

Esther Noel

2 weeks from today I will be on my way to Haiti with both my Mom and Dad! I can hardly wait to hold my baby girl and meet my lil sister. I hope the girls are prepared for lots of lovin!!!!

Our beautiful girls:)

Just to See You Smile

If somebody had told me,

just how painful it would be to love you from a distance.

Just how painful it would be to hold you,

knowing how quickly it would all come to an end.

Just how painful it would be to leave you,

over and over again.

I’m not sure I would have embarked on this journey.

I’m thankful nobody told me.

I’m thankful I didn’t know the pain I would feel.

Now that I know the pain,

I would do it all over again.

Just to see you smile.

Just to feel your warm embrace.

The joy of loving you is greater than the pain.

Maybe that’s why nobody told me.

~Angela Short~

Answered Prayers

Papa and Mommy are coming to see you next month baby girl!!! I cannot wait to love on you:) God answered my prayer.... that I would get to see you soon!

Little Bit of Joy

We received some adorable pictures of our baby girl that made us smile. Thought I would share a few. It is heartwarming to see her so joyful:)

LOVE!

Getting her hair done

our silly girl:)

best buds!

Wishing she was here with us but thankful that she seems content right where she is. God is good. Praying we will get the opportunity to see our baby soon! Missing her more than I could begin to describe in words. My heart literally aches most days. I never quite understood what it meant to wait until we started this process... now I understand it all to well. Please pray for us:)

Praying You Home

Dear Sweet Baby Girl,

I got the sweetest lil picture of you this week. What a beautiful little girl you are! Oh how I would love to scoop you up in my arms right now. I miss you so very much! I hope your day has been filled with joy and laughter. I hope someone played peek-a-boo with you this morning:) I hope your tummy is full and you're taking a lil nap just like your brother. It's a beautiful day in Maine. The sun is shining bright! We played outside all morning long. Can't wait for you to come home and enjoy beautiful days like these with us. We love you more than words can say. We're praying you home!

                                                         Love you always & forever,

                                                                          Mommy
                                                                           xoxoxo

Bittersweet

Thinking of Esther's biological Mommy today... so thankful that she chose to give Esther the gift of adoption. I miss Esther more than words can express. I can only imagine how her "mommy heart" must feel. 

"She is mine in a way that she will never be hers, yet she is hers in a way that she will never be mine, and so together, we are motherhood."  -unknown

Mother's Day is bittersweet. I am so thankful to have been blessed with 2 precious children. Love them with all my heart! I long for the day when I can hold both of them in my arms. Even if it will mean double the tantrums! I'm ready to have both my babies under the same roof. Let the craziness begin! 

Gavin William 

Esther Noel

LOVE Her Sweet Face!

Esther's Uncle Barry went to KKO to visit his son, Jean Marie, a couple weeks ago. He spent much time with Esther while he was there. He said that she was doing well... healthy and happy:) We were thankful that he loved on her and was able to bring her some new shoes and a few other special treats. We skyped with her a few times and got a few pictures. LOVE her sweet face!

beautiful eyes!

say what?!?!

so thankful that her tummy is filled each day!

I remember trying to teach her to use a spoon a little over a year ago.... looks like she's mastered the skill now:)

We're still waiting to exit IBESR... nothing has changed since July. No news has become the norm these days. We still hold on to a glimmer of hope that maybe today will be the day we will hear some good news... but we certainly don't hold our breath! I want Esther home with us more than just about anything I have ever wanted before in my life. 2 years ago I would have assured you, that if you had asked me to go thru this process knowing all that it would entail, I would surely have gone crazy. There will always be an empty space in my heart and at the dinner table until the day our little girl walks through our front door but by the grace of God I am learning to be patient and trust that He holds Esther in the palm of His hand. At first I was struggling to control any little aspect of the adoption process. I somehow thought that if I could gain control of even the smallest thing that I could "help" God move this thing along. I soon realized that this wasn't the case. It didn't really matter what I was struggling to get control of. The reality of the situation was that I was not in control and God was. I finally let go... not to say that I never try and grasp onto something from time to time... because I do. But God is definitely teaching me that He is in control and I am not. He loves Esther more than I do. I am comforted when I remember that truth. I can't imagine anyone loving her more than I do... so to know that God does is a truly amazing truth!

IBESR (Haitian Social Services) has offically closed down for 3 months. They are not accepting new dossiers at this time. They will be closed until the end of July. They are supposably restructuring their system in hopes to move paperwork along a bit faster. It has been said that they are going to clear out the dossiers that are currently there before accepting any new ones. Hopefully this means that we will hear some good news in the next several weeks. Please pray that the president signs our dossier and we are able to move forward really soon. I am praying that Esther will be home for Christmas. Reality says that won't happen. It may not, but considering what my God can do... I don't think it will hurt to ask:)